This is for all those who care about what Happened to me...

Well at first I was trying to stay in shape get more exercise, eat right, and sit less on the compute you know. This change in self came shortly after visiting my 40 something year old brother Brian in the hospital. He was there due to some major diabetic type complications. Thankfully he only lost a toe this time. Now my Mother, my brother, my mothers sister, my mothers brother, and my mothers father have all had or have diabetes. So ya, in my mind, life change for myself was imperative to stay alive long enough to be here to see my children grow and prosper. Due to my new found love for all things good and healthy I unexpectedly found a great love of biking. When I first started I could only get to the neighborers mail box and back. I remember thinking OMG THIS HURTS AHHHHHH! But as I pushed through the pain I found my self going farther and farther 10 minutes and a 1000 feet turned into 2 hours and 6 plus miles. Unfortunately however I now look like a potato on Tooth picks. lmao!! My legs rock but my belly jiggles! Any way my point is you have to be proactive about these things.....How ever I have currently fallen off the wagon so to speak as of late and Thanks to this journal I just might start doing the right thing again. My family doesn't;t make the best support group with there insatiable love for ice cream..

Even though I was working out eating right and getting fit I still had every intention of being still active on DA. But my Phone line decided differently. For weeks and weeks on end I had to deal with crazy static and popping on my phone line. So because of this we could not establish a decent Internet connection. Yes we have dial up still. I feel like I'm in the stone age because of it. So when the phone company finally came and fixed the problem my husband went on line and decided to get the computer a shiny new virus! That basically drove me nuts because my husband (bless his heart) didn't bother to tell me the antviruse subscription had expired and needed to be renewed. At this point I couldn't get on line to renew the darn thing Gahhh! It's all good now obviously because I'm here now and honestly I did miss every one. I have plenty of time to spend chatting it up with my DA friends now because all my little ones are in school now and I'm all alone.

On top of my computer problems I have had some personal hurtles as well. Just recently I have found out that my youngest Virgina has a condition called urinary reflux which can cause kidney damage among other things and at some point she might have to get surgery. She is 5. She just started kindergarten this year. Because of this condition she has problems with wetting herself so this makes it doubly hard for her in school. But oddly and miraculously enough I met a mother of a girl in her class that has the exact same problem so at least she is not alone.

My son Andrew has a condition called Oshcenslaughter (I totally can't spell it) which basically gives him nothing but constant pain in his legs. He is 13. We found this out at the end of the school year in '09 when he had to quit track because the pain in is legs was so great he could barely walk. This school year he is devastated because he couldn't play soccer and can not run track because of the pain. Even walking hurts him. He loves to run but can't and it kills me to see him move at times like an old man.

My mother whom I have had a very close relationship with almost all of my life is turning into the evil grandmother. I grew up with one. My fathers mother and as much crap and pain that that woman put me through as a young child I realize now made me a more loving a tolerant person. Because come hell and high water there was no way in hell I was going to be as mean and judgmental as she was of me toward anyone else. This woman had the whole of my fathers family turned against my siblings and I. Well now my mother seems to be this judgmental, irritated by the sight of my children, grandmother. She has done a 180 and I know why. You see she had a brain tumor and they had to irradiated it and now her whole personality has changed. so I'm dealing with this now. I have to constantly remind myself and my family just why maybe grandma is so angry and grumpy and at time selfish in a child like manner. This hurts my husband the most because his grand parents were his saving grace. Since we do not talk to anyone from his side of the family he feels the kids are getting short changed with the whole crazy grandma situation. The positive out of all of this is that my father and I are getting closer. Now if you had told me when I was 14 that I would be close to my father I would have "lmao". But now I see the good man in him. Well more of a great man really. A giving kind soul and literally the worlds greatest #1 grandpa.

That's it for now. There is more of course I'll save it for another journal. Love you guys

Sarah


One of my Favorite Quotes:

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space.

He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated
from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

~Albert Einstein